


the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you

by nathansprescott



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: HARRYS BITTER, ITS BITTER, M/M, ginny weasley is a lesbian, harry shags malfoy and he loves him but that doesnt work out, harrys gay, hermiones gay, malfoys closet gay, so harry shags theo instead, theyre all gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:51:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9229430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathansprescott/pseuds/nathansprescott
Summary: Everything's bloody complicated with Draco bloody Malfoy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> based off of take me to church by hozier.  
> bitter angst. drarry, pansmione, linny, harry/theo.

He finds comfort in silvery eyes in dark corridors before Malfoy turns his head away.  
It's brief, but he's there, and he drowns in grey.

\------

 

The war rages on. Nothing's simple—nothing ever is—but this is a new level of complicated.  
These days, it's more like they meet in the broom closet and both hands gravitate to the other's neck and they're kissing and then their hands travel.  
Harry does not speak. He's afraid to say things he wishes he did not think.

 

\-------

 

They kiss, yes, and they fuck, but there are no feelings attached. They do not talk. This is not intimate. This is two guys shagging in broom closets.  
(Right?)

 

\------

 

They breathe in a broken rhythm. Harry's hands shake.  
Draco presses a kiss to his collarbone and then leaves.

 

\-----

 

They have not spoken since.

 

\-----

 

When Draco runs and leaves amidst the flashing light of curses and hexes, Harry feels something in him burst, and then he's running.  
“Coward!” The way he screams sounds too rough, too animalistic. A Gryffindor. Funny. He feels like a lion; feral, angry, untrained.  
“Bloody damned coward!”  
His feet dash across the grass and he knows screaming this loud is dangerous, but the Death Eaters are not to harm him without Voldemort's go-ahead. He is free.  
Snape turns, and Harry does not care that the Potions professor believes himself to be the one Harry is yelling at. (Or for?)  
Harry dodges him and keeps running, screaming.  
“Malfoy! You bloody coward! Malfoy!”  
He pants, but he keeps running.  
He cannot lose him. He cannot lose this.  
(Draco was lost the moment the Mark was put upon him. Neither of them wanted it, but it's the world they live in.)

 

\-----

 

Harry does what he knows; he fights.  
The war is long and hard and his hands colour themselves the same scarlet that he dressed himself in for six years.

 

\-----

 

When he saves Malfoy in the Room of Requirement, his hands do not shake.  
He is only a year older, but he feels as if he has aged a thousand years, somehow.  
He knows better. He is not surprised when Draco trots off into the fray.  
This is the world we live in, he has to remind himself. This is it. We can't fix this.

 

\-----

 

When Harry Potter dies at the hands of Voldemort, he almost says that he'll stay where he is.

 

\-----

 

The war is won, and Voldemort is dead. Things are complicated, but they're almost kind of worse.

 

\-----

 

Eighth year is hard. He did not expect to encounter days when it feels as if they had not won. He did not expect anything that comes with the aftermath; the deep grief, the feeling of guilt, the sleepless nights.  
He should walk around with a victorious smile and a cocky look about him.  
He walks around looking like something half-alive.

 

\-----

 

He attends Draco's wedding, sitting right at the back. He leaves before anyone speaks to him.  
Astoria really was quite beautiful in her dress. It's a pity Draco doesn't play for that team, he thinks bitterly, tossing back a shot.

 

\-----

 

He does not marry Ginny.  
Ginevra Weasley and Luna Lovegood's nuptials take place on a snowy December day. He congratulates both of them rather warmly.

 

\-----

 

Hermione and Ron didn't last.  
It's with some surprise he attends Hermione and Pansy Parkinson's wedding set for the summer.  
They work beautifully together, honestly. Pansy's biting sarcasm and Hermione's shining wit blend in perfectly and they both seem to be the match most can only dream of.

 

\-----

Ron marries work. So does Harry.  
It's a bitter arrangement, but it works. Everyone ages and has kids or maybe they don't, but he stays in the same flat, wearing the same dress shirt he's had since sixth year.  
Molly worries he's still too thin. Ron just waves his hand and says something about Harry's height and good metabolism.

\-----

 

He doesn't have any kids to escort to Platform 9 and three-quarters, but he trots alongside the two happy couples and watches kids (both adopted and biological) board the train. He waves and grins.  
He can feel Malfoy's eyes on his back.  
It burns, for a moment, until Harry smirks at him and throws an arm around Theodore Nott's shoulders.  
He takes great pleasure in the alarmed look on the bloody asshole's face.  
He'd never say it aloud, but it hurts long after he leaves the train station.


End file.
